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Remembering Pamela
This section is for keeping Pamela's spirit alive through stories about her. Please feel free to add a story to memorialize her kind and kindred spirit.
If you have a story or a memory about Pamela submit it here
| I remember meeting Pamela in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico in 1993. The two of us were enrolled in a class at the Belles Artes to learn how to develop photography in the darkroom. I remember her as a very striking, energetic woman. At the time she was nursing a broken foot and was hobling around on crutches. Pamela, Marisa and her girlfriend and I would sit at an outdoor table after classes and talk about photography, being single mothers and our love for the Arts and Mexico. It was easy to see what a wonderful parent she was. We talked about getting together later, but never did. I am glad to have had that moment in time. | | Submitted by Joan Mitchell |
| | Pamela and I became friends and co-workers in 1994 while working at Pacific Telesis Video Services. We became fast friends and I so looked forward to our daily banter over life, work, love, etc. I enjoyed hearing about Marisa applying to UC Santa Cruz, as that was my alma mater. In 1996, I moved to The Netherlands with my husband and Pamela and I stayed in touch and she had a chance to visit us after our son was born in 1999. It was so great to see her and for her to meet my son. This was so indicitive of Pamela's generous spirit. While some friends may talk about visiting, she followed through. It was our last chance to have a face to face conversation and I think of her often. My heart felt thoughts are now with her children and husband. | | Submitted by Christine Buchan Fallon |
| | Growing up with Marisa it is hard not to remember Pam. I remember Pam as a strong, loving, career driven woman. She was someone who obviously loved her children more than anyone in the world. She worked so hard to support the kids. She gave up a bedroom and slept in the living room on the pull out couch so her teenage kids could have their own rooms. As long as her kids had everything that they wanted, she was a happy woman.
How can you forget Pam's laugh...it was infectious. I remember going to Marisa's house and there was always a good time to be had. Pam always made sure there were good eats in the house, that's for sure. I think I may have had my first homemade pancake there. It was awesome. It was always about us...I mean the kids...her kids...and their happiness.
Pam would drive us to school on the coast, and there wasn't anything cooler than that growing up.
Everyone knew Pam as a caring and giving person. She didn't have a bad bone in her body. The love that emanated through her has definitely carried through to my good friend Marisa. Although Pam's life ended prematurely, I know her spirit has carried through all that have known and loved Pam. I know I will take a piece of her with me forever.
I love you Mario and Marisa, stay strong because I know your Mom would be. | | Submitted by Jen Fox Peterson |
| | There are so many memories...Pamela was stunning. When she would walk into a room all eyes would be on her. Her pictures do not do her justice. She had the rare combination of beauty and intelligence. Her wonderful heart would lead her to help those in need. We did not always agree; I felt you should only help those that help themselves. Pamela believed everybody deserves a chance (sometimes many chances)and she was always there if they needed her. She was very focused. If she started a project, she finished the project. She had a zany sense of humor. She could laugh at the silliest things and get everyone to laugh with her. She was determined but not pushy. Pamela kept her feelings to herself. She was very private and only shared her deep feelings with the people closest to her. Her children, sister, husband and I probably knew her the best. She had many friends and they confided in her. She always kept their confidence. She could be a risk taker but with limits. She would lecture me about the dangers of scuba diving but there was no danger when she parachuted out of a plane. She loved getting dressed up and going out. Yet she was comfortable kicking back and being casual. If it didn't involve her children or her work, she was usually late. I remember at her wedding, she was sitting in the bathroom on a closed commode in her beautiful dress writing with 20 written pages around her. Her wedding was going to start in five minutes and she was still writing her vows. She said she had a little bit more to write. I told her if she hadn't said it all in those finished pages, it wouldn't make any difference if she wrote another paragraph and she was going to be late for her own wedding. She just laughed and said "OK I'm ready." Pamela was a wine connoisseur before she met Daniel. She found the best vintages and loved visiting the vineyards. When her children went to sleep, she would pour a glass of wine, turn on classical music and read. We used to run on the beach after work. The first time we went jogging together neither of us would quit until the other did. We kept going until we were just exhausted. Finally we looked at each other and just dropped in the sand at the same time laughing hysterically. We were so tired we could not put one foot in front of the other. There is so much more to say about this lovely woman but I hope I have given you a glimpse of wonderful Pamela. | | Submitted by Jan Lawrence |
| | My Sweet Sister Pamela,
I can see your beautiful face, and your smile comforts my soul. You were my big sister and my friend - and I will miss you all the days of my life.
As a child, I remember watching you sitting at your beloved piano - hands positioned correctly, your perfect posture, and the serious look of concentration on your face. This never changed. You filled our lives with music and love.
You were an extraordinary woman, who made her mark in the world. You were such an amazing Mom. Mario and Marisa were the lights of your life, and they still are. You taught them, well.
I always looked forward to hearing your joyous voice - filling me with confidence and peacefullness. I loved our long talks, and I miss the sound of your laughter. I know you will always be with me - still guiding me. You are here, in my heart. I remember your strength, and it will help me now.
I love you, Pamela. May angels surround you now, and forever - and may you dance among the stars.
| | Submitted by Tamara Kay Hill |
| | As I browse through the pictures of your mom one thing always comes into my head and that is her laughter and smile. I always remember your mom laughing and smiling at us as kids especially about all of the silly things we did. She would watch our dance routines as if they were the greatest coreographed dances she had ever seen. She encouraged you and Mario to go after what you wanted in life and she taught that lesson by example. She was so full of life and love especially for her children and the people she held dear to her heart. I will never forget her laugh or her smile or her determination especially since they live on in you Miss. | | Submitted by jaime |
| | Pamela and I discovered each other in September of 2003 through our mutual interest in genealogy. I responded to a message she posted on ancestry.com about the Darge family from the Good Thunder, Minnesota area. I sent her an email introducing myself and letting her know that Herman Darge and Amalia Graf were my great-grandparents. She responded with an enthusiastic email, writing “They’re my great-grandparents too!!!!” She pronounced us second cousins and I learned of her fondness for using multiple exclamation points -- my first clue to her effervescent personality. We began an email relationship interspersed with occasional phone calls, sharing our family history research with one another and reminiscing about relatives we both knew growing up. In particular we shared stories of our great aunts Leona and Alma who we both respected as bright, caring, and independent women and who taught us the card game King's Corners. We found out we both had walked through the same cemeteries in southern Minnesota, taking pictures of the same headstones, and following many of the same clues in piecing together our ancestry. We traded old family photos and compared old family folklore. We learned of things we had in common such as music, wine, Italian food (anything Italian, actually), philosophical musings, the value of lifelong learning, and following our own paths in life.
In one of our early conversations I shared with Pamela that my father, Roland Darge, had died when I was 13 years old and that I only knew him through a child’s eyes. I longed to know more about him. She picked up on the depth of my feelings and hatched an idea to surprise me. Her Dad grew up with my Dad and she knew he would have many first-hand stories to share. So one evening she arranged for a three-way phone call with her in California, her parents in Minneapolis, and me in Duluth. The conversation lasted for a couple of hours and I learned so many wonderful and interesting things about my Dad. It was a precious gift and I will never forget her thoughtfulness in arranging it. Even after her parents were off the line, Pamela and I continued to talk for another couple of hours and I remember it being 1:30 a.m. when we finally hung up. We had become more than genealogy partners, we had started to become friends.
If you’ve ever been pulled into the world of genealogy, you may know how addictive it can be. Excitement is found in each new discovery, every puzzle solved, and every barrier broken through. It was wonderful to share this with Pamela -- a kindred spirit who never got bored with the subject. I’m sad that we’ll never get to meet in person as we had planned.
Thank you for creating this website in honor of your Mom. I will treasure visiting it to learn more about her life and spirit.
| | Submitted by Sue Darge |
| | Love, peace, and happiness! | | Submitted by Pedrito |
| | “My mother and Pam Vitale were both single moms who shared a strong bond of plight, compassion and laughter. They were close to inseperable. When I was 10 years old my mother past away and so did Pam's best friend. Needless to say, it was terribly hard. My family shrouded my mother's death in silence and denial and I was left alone grappling with issues that were far beyond my ten years of experience. I felt alone, displaced and unwanted. Pam knew this intuitively and was the first adult figure to discuss her death with me and give me permission to grieve.
Pam was a single mom who was caring for two children and was responsible for the majority of the financial burden yet she went far beyond her call of duty. She attempted to ask for my custody. (This was not only an act of pure compassion but also utter bravery, for my grandparent's staunch and stern methods were something to reckon with. My own father coward in fear in regards to my custody.) As a close friend of my mother's she was privy to the repression and denial that was rampant in my family and this was the exact opposite of everything Pam and my mother tried to raise their children with. She truly had only mine and my mother's best interest in mind. In this lifetime it is far and few between that one encounters such loving, selfless and pure-hearted intentions.
These intentions filtered into every facet of my youth. As children, the moment we spoke with ignorance or intolerance she would correct us with such a grace and wisdom that comprehension was immediate and the lesson taught was life long. She addressed issues as vast as class, the human body, art, disrespect, and love to an audience of wily and restless children and was always heard. It was a gift that I hope I can possess in my own experience of motherhood. Before my mother passed I was a child whose only concerns were dancing, lemonade stands, and building forts but with ease Pam could challenge me to see a much bigger world. After my mother's death Pam introduced me to a world of compassion, openness, strength and selflessness. She was and always will be an amazing mentor.
| | Submitted by Kelly Rausch |
| | “I was four years old and going to the beach with my mom and my brother. My brother and I ran ahead and decided to walk on a wall that started out about 1 foot off the ground and kept getting higher and higher. I remember trying to be very careful as this wall was very sandy. There was one portion that was extra sandy, so I decided to step over that part so I wouldn’t fall. Well, the overstep threw me off balance and I fell. To this day, I can still remember exactly what I saw as I tumbled like a ball, a blue van, a cement parking stopper, the wall, the sky, the van, the cement parking stopper and that was it. Head first onto the iron bolt that held down the cement parking stopper. I sat up as I was dazed and saw my mom at the top of the parking lot about 500 ft. away come to me in three gigantic steps, like the bionic woman. I knew something was very wrong when I saw the fear in my mom’s eyes. But as soon as she picked me up in her arms, I knew everything was going to be okay. I remember her blue “children’s center” sweatshirt was covered in blood, but as long as I had my arms around her and hers around me, I was fine. The doctor’s told me that I cracked my skull and would probably have to have plastic surgery on my forehead for the scarring that would occur. My mom put vitamin E on my scars for about a year. Now, at 29, you can’t even see the scars anymore. She had a special touch that just made everything better.”
| | Submitted by Marisa Vitale |
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